Love gets a bad rap and it doesn’t make me happy

A comment I made in another entry about the different treatment of the LG affair by Chretien vs. Malory, left me wondering why is it that I missed the long amorous monologues of Chretien and (less so) Von Eschenbach and how would Morte D’Arthur change if Malory had inserted some Ovidian style love passages, more secret encounters between Lancelot and Guinevere ? And how would it had affected the tragic ending? With a blind, trance-like Lancelot like in the Cart? It would have been interesting, more melodramatic...Another creative project idea!
The exalted love component made the Arthurian text more varied, but they did seem to dominate the plot in Chretien and WVE. It was a good change, meeting surreal characters (dwarves, hermits, maidens, faeries) in the forest, and then the pining and looking at blood on snow. It was refreshing, and having that insight into a knight’s thoughts...
Why did Malory divorce his fictional knighthood from a sweeping love story? In the end Tristan and Isode’s comments about love making better knights is laughable.
Love didn’t make Lancelot et. al better knights, it was the rejection of love that permitted Lancelot, Arthur etc to die with honor or you could say that BECAUSE Lancelot had the affair he was able to patch up his act in the end, sort of define himself, who he was. And he decided he would not be a lover.
Through Lancelot, Malory seems to be saying marriage hinders knights (look at Arthur) but informal romantic entanglements help you define your priorities and make you always prefer knightly honor.
They, LG, suffer more for the consequences of love than from being apart it seems, though granted, Malory does not let us in into their deepest, innermost thoughts, so we can't assume they don't.
Anyway, so I went back to my courtly love notes, and Malory was writing when courtly, chivalric virtuous love (without the adulterous component) was incredibly popular -- the 14th century to 16th century--. People were reading romances, lyrics, handbooks of conduct, etc. The 14th century gentleman wanted to be like Tristan. Why was deviant, cleptomaniac Malory so …the only word I can think of is frugal…frugal with the love component… I understand there was a war and that Malory was a frustrated knight stuck in jail, and it was knighthood he missed the most? But he did he ever SERVE?? Was he a sort of Don Quijote? Is this book a projection of his unfulfilled knightly fantasies? And, was it difficult for him to relate to women and kept getting rejected/accused of rape in real life? Was this why Lancelot rejects all those women?
By removing the Ovidian/Tristan love from Morte the knights feel less realistic, less comprehensive men. Does this affect the way we think of them as ideal?

I do like flawed heroes with an inner life.